We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
