Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
