When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
