i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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