Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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