Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
