So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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