Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Send help, water and tortillas.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
