Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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