I faked an abortion last night.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
