Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
In other news, I just burned my penis
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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