Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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