Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
