This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
