Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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