Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
