physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
