Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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