Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
