i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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