I am puke
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
