Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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