It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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