big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
