There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
