its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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