your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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