why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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