you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
