WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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