Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
