Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize