its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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