Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
