i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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