so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
