dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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