if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
