Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
