just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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