dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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