Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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