I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
