I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
