Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
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We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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