It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
