ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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