If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
