Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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