I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
