she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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