i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Shame is for Republicans.
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