i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
