how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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