i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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