Nicole vs. Life
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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