I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
