I feel like abortions should bother me more
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
